I have my first, mediated, court session with my ex on Wednesday.
It's stressful.
There's so much I have to do in order to be considered a "good parent" and even then, I'm going to sit down in front of a person who's going to tell me how to parent.

Pretty sure I didn't push an instruction guide out of my vagina along with my son.

I'm taking a three and a half hour parenting class, REQUIRED, for both my ex and I before the court session.,
I can't handle the woman's voice.
It's all about older kids.
There is, so far, nothing useful about this class.

Nothing is going to work for my ex and I except the mediator telling him he needs to do this and I need to do that.

The issue is that HE won't let me see my son.
I have a right to see him.

DUMBASS.

I could put him in jail for contempt because he hasn't let me see my son in seven months.

SEVEN MONTHS!

What are you thinking? Do you think I'm going to disappear and forget about him? I don't think so buddy. That's my baby too. You wouldn't even have him if it wasn't for me and my uterus.

I couldn't even imagine keeping Jamie from his dad. Ever.

All I ever wanted growing up was to have both of my parents around, I wasn't lucky enough to have either one. I am absolutely not going to let my son go through that. He deserves all the love in the world.

I can't believe that it's already time to go to court for him. Thank god.
I miss him so much.

I want to be able to be back in his life, sooner rather than later, for his own sake. He doesn't deserve to not have his mom or dad around. He doesn't need to be asking all these questions about where mommy or daddy is, grandpa or grandma, ext.

That's too much emotional instability that I never wish on my son.

I don't want him to end up like me.

Emotionally and mentally fucked up. I don't want him to think he's going crazy in his own mind because he can't figure out how he's feeling or why he's feeling the way he is.

THIS WOMAN'S VOICE IS UNBEARABLE.....

Why do I need to sit here and talk this class in order to see my son? I didn't ask for him to keep Jamie from me. In fact, he told me he would NEVER do that. Now, he's done it twice totaling in 11 months.